We haven't talked in quite some time [CLOSED]

Hollyshard paced the border between ShadowClan and SkyClan, her tail lashing behind her. Being a warrior wasn't all it was made out to be, sure it was great, but she wished it was better. All she did was patrol and then patrol again, there were no quirks or surprises, it was all the same. Maybe it'd be different if she had an apprentice, but all the apprentices did was mess around and not listen. Holkyshard didn't have time for that, she wanted things done quick and effectively. There seemed to be no cats in the clan that could do that anymore. The bengal hissed in exasperation, the only relief from her boredom was Lynxpaw, but they hadn't seen each other in awhile. The only other cat in SkyClan after her father's death, was Addergaze, but she was incredibly irritable. It was best to leave her alone unless you wanted to get snapped at.

Hollyshard stared at the marsh's just beyond the border. They looked foul and rancid, just like the stench that arose from the place. She couldn't understand how Lynxpaw could put up with it. She curled lip in disguise and turned her back on the muddy territory. Hollyshard stared blankly at her own territory, it was so much better than ShadowClan's. the ground was hard and foliage sprouted everywhere. The ground was bathed in dappled light and the birds tweeted happily. The spotted warrior glanced back at ShadowClan's territory, she couldn't say the same for the marshes.

With a sigh, Hollyshard clambered to her paws. It was clear no one had been here in awhile, she had no idea what drew her to this place. She lent forward and took a deep sniff of the tree. She could smell so many scents-- her own, Lynxpaw's and even her father's very stale scent. She missed Eagleheart more than ever now she was a warrior. Hollyshard took another sniff, but this time she smelt a fresher scent. The scent belonged to Addergaze and Hollyshard smiled slightly. "Hello, Addergaze." she purred flicking her tail in greeting.

Things were...not good.

These past few moons had been filled with nothing but despair- despair that only hardened Addergaze's already ragged heart and twisted her further with a complex amount of self-loathing and anger. Despite Oceanlight's reassurances, she knew deep within the rigid core of her being that Aspenkit would never become a warrior. She knew within her being that Eagleheart likely met his demise by foolishly trekking onto some other Clan's territory. She knew that other cats -cats younger and less trained than her- were surpassing her more and more each day that she lingered within that Starclan-forsaken nursery. No. None of this was good. This was never what she intended to do.

During these days of confusion and despair, Addergaze often found herself slipping away from camp when she could to wander Skyclan's territory aimlessly. Today, her paws unconsciously carried her towards the Highpine; a place she had sworn that she would never visit again so long as their was breathe within her lungs. It angered her that her troubled mind led her here- but what angered her more was the sight of Hollyshard loitering there uselessly. "Shouldn't you be out doing something more productive than gazing off forlornly into that rat-filled dump?" Addergaze inquired with her normal sharpness, eyes narrowing to slits as she glared at the smaller she-cat. "Being a Warrior does not mean you can simply go about as you please and forsake your duties." She continued gruffly, lack of patience evident in her raspy voice. The amount of freedom she had on a daily basis of greatly hindered by the fact that she had to take care of kits now and she didn't enjoy the idea of wasting her precious time scolding the kit of her dearly departed mate.

Stalking forward, the burly, well-muscled she-cat strode forwards towards the newly-named warrior, teeth bared for a brief heart-beat. "Get away from there- the last thing anyone wants is to have to deal with those miserable, flea-bitten inbreeds out for blood all because some foolish cat was doe-eyed over their carrion filled swamp." Addergaze snapped once more, muscles twitching beneath her thick, wild overcoat. Her thick tail gave a final warning lash as she continued to stare at Hollyshard, eyes remaining narrowed, before turning on her heels. The last thing she really wanted to do was scold one of Eagleheart's grown kits whenever she had to go back to camp and scold one of his young kits.

Hollyshard's eyes narrowed at Addergaze, she didn't appreciate her tone. Her tail curled up around her paws as the queen spoke. The warrior wasn't use to being scolded like this and the fact it was from Addergaze further infuriated her. Hollyshard sighed, turning her back on the warrior. "I do not appreciate your tone. Besides shouldn't you be back at camp caring for your kits?" she hissed. Addergaze was the last cat she expected to scold her.

Hollyshard clambered to her feet, still glaring at the huge queen. Addergaze couldn't speak, she was always out of camp, using Eagleheart as excuse. Her icy eyes wandered over the queen as she spat in her face. The spotted warrior felt the fur along her name rise up and her ears fell backwards. "You're not my mother. Do not talk to me like you are, you are barely older than me! Don't act like you're the only one hurting. My brother is dead, my father is dead, I do not know my mother and you think you're the only one hurting? You're pathetic, Addergaze!" snarled Hollyshard stepping closer to Addergaze, tail lashing behind her. She'd told Addergaze her honest opinion, nothing glazed over with fake kind words, just the cold hard truth. Yeah, it'd hurt, but at least the queen would know her place.

Hollyshard glanced at the foul territory behind her. ShadowClan weren't as bad as Addergaze made them out to be. Lynxpaw was nice and at the moment she'd take the tom over any of her clan mates without batting an eyelash. The bengal she-cat sat down again, glaring up any addergaze with her icy eyes. Hollyshard curled her banded tail around her paws, her claws digging into the earth below. "How do you know ShadowClan is as bad as that? Must of had to meet a lot of them in person... And you never leave SkyClan at the gatherings... " she hinted with a slight smirk. The warrior knew Addergaze too well, she knew she wouldn't of been able to ignore this.

ooc) okay so long OCC but:  Hollyshard seriously just ruined her chances of getting Adder to talk about any of this with her apparent new behavior haha cx. Plus I don't understand this line: "You're not my mother. Do not talk to me like you are, you are barely older than me! Don't act like you're the only one hurting. My brother is dead, my father is dead, I do not know my mother and you think you're the only one hurting? You're pathetic, Addergaze!" When that subject never even came up? Holly shouldn't magically know how internally upset Adder is if she never once mentioned it verbally to Holly yet? I understand that technically the news would of spread within SkC, but that doesn't really justify how Holly was able to suddenly know exactly what is on Adder's mind with one guess ya know?


Addergaze merely rolled her eyes, impatiently waiting for the smaller she-cat to finish the whole, 'my-pain-is-somehow-greater-than-yours' routine, feeling bile in her stomach at the way the smaller she-cat. "Thank Starclan you're not my kit. An ill-mannered, whimpering brat like you has no place among my kits- who actually know their mannerisms mind you. And don't play martyr; you of course I'm the only one hurting- you never even so much as looked at your father. Don't act as if you suddenly care about him." She snorted, voice sharp like ice. She loomed over the overly-arrogant young warrior, clearly annoyed; who did this kit think she was? Did Eagleheart ever discipline his kits? Eagleheart would of likely rolled in his grave at the sight of this chaotic display of the remnants of his family.  

"Unlike you, I've done my duties well enough to recognize our enemies. It's because of cats like me that you're able to go off and socialize at a whim after doing nothing all day, grooming mud from the behinds of a Clan that you've gone soft on. I don't 'stray from Skyclan' because I actually have friends within our Clan and don't feel insecure enough to try and validate myself by socializing with the scum of the forest." Addergaze merely shrugged, tone flat and disinterested now; was Hollyshard an idiot? Was Eagleheart an even bigger one for raising her? Flicking her thick tail, the large warrior turned back around once more, no longer interesting in breaking the will of the wayward brat. She had said she'd scout the area for a good place for Sagepaw's hunting practice, and didn't really care for the amount of time she was wasting soothing Hollyshard's apparently fragile ego.

"If you'd like a history lesson you'd actually retain for once," Addergaze sneered, not even giving Hollyshard the dignity of a glance, "Then you'll know where to find me since apparently all I do is raise kits." The burly she-cat continued, not breaking stride as she slipped into the thin, fragile foliage. "And perhaps since you suddenly remember Eagleheart once more, do him the kindness of visiting his grave," She continued, tone flat as she continued to trek towards the deeper parts of Skyclan's territory. "Since you were never keen on socializing with him while he was alive."

OCC: Ya I get that. The line meant that she knew how Adder felt, but she wasn't going to let her push her around. Also Holly was surprised by Adder's sudden hostility towards her because they're usually on good terms. Holly I kinda guess guessed it like that because she knew Addergaze better than most cats and that she was also upset about Eagle's death.

Hollyshard gazed at Addergaze in disbelief. Never had the massive she-cat, or anyone, talked to her like this. It did not settle well within her and her lip curled backwards. Her mind began to race, as far as she was concermed she was loyal and far from whimpering. In her mind Hollyshard seemed to decide that Addergaze meant none of it, but as she looked at the snarling and enraged she cat, she became less sure. The bengal she-cat stood up, her tail lashing. A low growl rumbled in her throat as she stared into Addergaze's amber eyes.

"Whimpering? I'll-mannered? Ha! I know have better manners than you! If you had manners you wouldn't be wasting your hunting time scolding me for nothing." snorted Hollyshard her claws digging into the ground. Hollyshard continued to stare at Addergaze, her heart pounded against her chest bad the bloood rushed to her head. "I'm thankful I'm not your kit either! Honestly, what sort of a mother lets their kit get ravaged by a fox? Not mine... Seeing as I don't have one. I don't need some foul cat like you attempting to take her spot. she hissed. The spotted warrior retracted her claws. Who does Addergaze think she is waltzing over like she's my mother or telling me I'm a whimpering little brat? Has she even seen herself?

The words that left Addergaze's mouth next sent Hollyshard's heart on fire. How dare the queen suggest she didn't care about her father. Being his sloppy seconds as a mate had certainly gone to her head. The bengal warrior hissed and her eyes narrowed as she glared icy daggers at the larger cat. "I cared about my father more than a queen with a big a head as you would know. You can't bear the fact that I'm his daughter and that he loves me just as much as your pathetic scraps of fur! Get a grip on reality, Addergaze, you were his sloppy seconds." snarled the bengal nostrils flaring with rage. She couldn't care less about how the words stung Addergaze at this moment in time. The only thing on Hollyshard's mind was her range and anger at the massive tabby cat.

Hollyshard sat back down again, tail still billowing up dirt around her. Addergaze knew nothing about her. The queen couldn't just stand there and yell at her that she was lazy and spelt all her time lazing in camp. It disguisted her to think that she had once considered Addergaze as her most trusted friend. Hollyshard guessed Addergaze couldn't care for the little things. Just like she didn't care about any of the words that left her mouth. Hollyshard continued to sit there as Addergaze fired insult after insult at her. Knowing the truth, didn't make them hurt the warrior any less. It still hurt her to be called, disloyal, lazy and pathetic even if she knew it not to be true.

Hollyshard watched as Addergaze began to depart. Relief washing over her, but the words that left her mouth sent the bengal into another fit of rage. Maybe Addergaze should know why she was still lingering around the tree. Maybe it would bring Addergaze to realise how stupid she was. Maybe of you even truly cared about Eagleheart, you would look for the little things he left behind instead of just moping around like you do. If you actually cared you would of noticed that his scent is her and maybe if you actually cared you would be sitting here with me, remembering it before the rain washes it away or the wind covers it up with new scents!" yowled Hollyshard her voice cracking and tears forming in her eyes. Addergaze would never care about this stuff. She was to pigheaded to understand. "Maybe though, I don't want you to join me. Maybe, I want to spend time alone with my father's scent, the father I apparently don't care about. Sometimes Addergaze the little things are better than the big things, but maybe that's rather obvious. We all know I'm smaller than you and way better than you." she added with tears now streaming down her face. Now she must really look pathetic and whimpering in Addergaze's eyes, but she didn't care. Or she couldn't care anymore. Hollyshard swiped a paw over her face wiping away the tears and laughing softly at her last remark. Of course I'm better than Addergaze. Why would I think I'm not?

OCC: As Seer is unable to respond to this topic, I am jumping in.

Hunting had been good that day. The black and white deputy had taken it upon himself to go out hunting after the days patrols were settled and Gorsepaw was off handling his apprentice tasks. As much as it pained him to assign the young tom to the elders, Gorsepaw's strained leg still needed the day off. Hopefully, they would be back out together again soon. For now, Rippedsky would have to settle with a solo hunting patrol given that everyone else was out on patrol or with their own apprentices. The clan was thriving this newleaf. It was strange being alone for once; normally the Skyclan deputy had several cats at once pressing him with questions. The quiet was enjoyable. Not that the clan wasn't at peace, no, they were enjoying it. His occupation simply didn't allow for a day off.

A squirrel dug around the roots of a tree. Rippedsky crouched stalking forwards, the prey only a leap away. Right before he could pounce, a flurry of angry yowls broke through the forest's silence. In a flash, the squirrel was running. The warrior instantly abandoned his target and raced towards the source of the sound. This was near the Shadowclan border. His mind flashed back to when him and Pansyface had gone up against Mudfoot. He instantly assumed the worst, hoping and praying to Starclan it was not what he thought. Bursting into the small area that surrounding highpine, the tom instantly noticed there was no Shadowclan cats nearby. The scent was stale and their was no sign of any pelts lurking among the pine forests. A wave of confusion washed over him as he recognized his own cats. Why in Starclan's name would they have anything to fight over? I thought we were over being stupid enough to fight among ourselves? He quickly identified Hollyshard and a retreating Addergaze.

It only occurred to him briefly to call Addergaze back. Instead, he decided against it. The prickly she-cat probably needed a few moments alone. With everything she had recently gone through, Rippedsky recognized her need for space. Her warrior spirit had contained in the nursery for far too long, only to be followed up by the death of her mate and mauling of her kit. It was impressive she had been able to bear it. Being so busy, the deputy had yet to speak with her, however he made a mental note to patrol with her sometime. Despite her sharp tongue, Rippedsky appreciated the queen. She had once stood up for him and was a loyal and respected warrior. He had not made a mistake in giving her an apprentice recently. However, that too had been soured. With a sigh, the deputy turned to face Hollyshard. His deep blue eyes were ice cold.

Of course it had to be Eagleheart's kit involved in another in-clan quarrel. It was understandable that she was grieving the loss of her father, but he expected better from her, especially so soon after being made a warrior. Regardless of circumstance, it was irresponsible to simply leave camp without waiting to be assigned to any patrols. He had been wondering where she had run off too and now had an answer. But what still troubled the tom was why she was out here. It made no sense for one of his clan's warriors to be lounging around highpine. Addergaze certainly hadn't gone out with her. Rippedsky had watched the queen leave camp, figuring that she needed time away while Aspenkit recovered. There was a brief moment of silence as he tried to contain his frustration with the whole situation. He glanced to Starclan, You couldn't just give me one peaceful day out?

"What is going on here?" Rippedsky demanded as he fixed the young warrior with a steely gaze. He didn't want to snap instantly, and contained the disappointment and anger. It was out of character for him to be anything more than kind and caring, but his new position demanded there be discipline. Crowstar didn't appoint him to just allow cats to run around as they pleased. His eyes were ice cold pools of frustration. He expected an answer, and it had to be a good one.

Hollyshard sighed again as Addergaze left, swiping another paw over her muzzle. The warrior sat back down on her haunches. She dropped her gaze to the ground mulling over what she had just said. Maybe she should of just let Addergaze yowl at her and insult her, but being who she was Hollyshard found it difficult to not stick up for herself. Perhaps everything she said wasn't justified, but then again nor was what Addergaze had said. Hollyshard stared angrily at the spot In the foliage where the massive queen had departed. She probably only left because I was right, anyway.

Rippedsky's voice broke through the deadly silence that had settled over High Pine and the warrior let out an exasperated huff. What does he want? Probably to question me on my fight with Addergaze. the bengal whirled around, glaring just as icily at the deputy."Nothing, just a pleasant argument with Addergaze." she hissed coldly. If Hollyshard wasn't so angry she would of never talked to Rippedsky in this way. Hollyshard's tail swept angrily along the ground. "That massive ball of fluff, thinks she can come over here and accuse me of being disloyal and lazy, not to mention a whole host of other things. So naturally, I told her not to speak to me like that and to keep her opinions to herself- she didn't like that one bit. Yowled at the top of her lungs that I was a spoilt brat and that I never loved my father and that I was heartless. You should of heard her slagging off the rest of the clan too." she added eyes darting back to the bush the she-cat had left through.

Hollyshard turned her back on Rippedsky and sat back down to face the tree, her mind still racing. The bengal took another deep breath and curled her tail around her paws. It felt better to tell Rippedsky the insults that had been fired and she also slightly relieved that he had turned up when he did, but she wouldn't admit it. Hollyshard's eyes scanned the huge tree and she smiled slightly. She had no idea why she loved this place so much. The warrior turned back around to face Rippedsky looking slightly calmer."Is what Addergaze said true?"she meowed quietly. "Am I really lazy, heartless and disloyal? Do I really have no friends? I wouldn't be surprised if it were true..."

The blatant lack of disrespect shocked Rippedsky; even Eagleheart had more respect for authority than his kit. If he had less control, he would have lashed out a batted the she-cat on the side of her head. Instead, he stood fixing her with now blazing eyes. Never before had he seen such obvious lack of respect. It was something he valued highly, having always followed authority his entire life. As she spoke ill of her clanmate, his tail lashed angrily. Confusion washed over him as she claimed Addergaze was yowling, he hadn't heard her, only smelled the remnants of her scent. It wasn't in the prickly she-cat's nature to have a lack of control. Her anger was always cool and controlled. Hollyshard, on the other paw, seemed to be demonstrating a huge lack of restraint.

"Clearly the two of you had a personal disagreement; however, I don't appreciate your tone in speaking to me, or how you're talking about your clanmate. It would do you good to respect the older members of your clan. Addergaze has dealt with a lot lately and has always been a loyal warrior to the clan." His tone was a tightly constrained anger. Regardless of everything that was going, it was no excuse for poor treatment of the cats that had raised her. While Addergaze was caring for kits of her own, balancing training an apprentice, and her regular duties all while dealing with the circumstances, Hollyshard had little more responsibility than the basic duties of a warrior. His claws dug into the ground with frustration. She had even failed to show up for patrols this morning. As he spoke once more, the tom looked down at her with with a mixture of disappointment and irritation, "I was incredibly disappointed to not see you in camp this morning when I was assigning patrols. What you're going through is difficult, but that shouldn't mean you abandon your responsibilities."

At this point, there was no way the deputy was doing anything other than internally assigning her extra duties for the next moon. If Rippedsky had his way, the apprentices would get sometime off in caring for the elders. That burden would become Hollyshard's since she could not yet handle being a warrior. He was sure that Crowstar would agree with the punishment. It only further enraged him as she turned her back to the deputy. The typical softness and understanding was gone from the deputy's mind; it was a rare occasion, but she had brought it on. At her words, he sighed and reigned in his thoughts. The tom gulped back his own harsh yowl. Her words didn't make sense to him, but he recognized a sense of hurt behind them. While all he wanted to do was shout at the she-cat, Rippedsky carefully picked out his next words.

"You have an entire clan behind you that has helped to raise you. All around you are cats that care for your well-being. It is up to you what you put into, Hollyshard. You can make the decision to be a part of this, or to be internally focused. As of right now, I have been disappointed by your lack of participation as one of my warriors. However, you have the potential to do better." There was a slight undertone of care to the words, but they were mostly filled with a stern scolding. She was acting like a barely apprenticed kit; he couldn't believe it. Hopefully, she would come to some sense.

Hollyshard kneaded the ground with her paws, biting back the words that he formed in her mind. It infuriated the she-cat that Addergaze could do no wrong. She had merely wandered to Highpine and what she got was this! A scolding. It Wasn't fair. She didn't deserve it. Hollyshard dig her claws into the ground, still refusing to look at her deputy. Rippedsky didn't understand and she doubted that the tom ever would.

Hollyshard closed her eyes and rested her head on her paws. If she could just control herself, maybe she could the deputy to understand how she felt. "Rippedsky, I..." words faltered her as she realised that she really was in the wrong. Her words to Addergaze had been unjust and now thanks to her own stupidity Addergaze could of realised she had a friend in ShadowClan. What would they do to Lynxpaw if they found out they knew each other. Hollyshard curled her tail around her paws. It was fine. Lynxpaw and her, were just friends. And it would stay that way.

The Bengal she-cat could feel the deputy's eyes burning into her back. She could sense the anger he hid and knew he had every right to let it all out. Besides, she was just a pathetic warrior like Addergaze had said. Hollyshard clambered to her paws and turned to face Rippedsky, a look of shame on her muzzle. "I'm sorry Rippedsky..." she mewed meekly her blue eyes searching the tom.

Hollyshard hung her head. She was so stupid and so outspoken and so... Arrogant. The spotted warrior could not think of anything to say or do to change her predicament. She was wrong and nothing could that. All Hollyshard wanted was her father and brother back. It would all be better then, but she knew Badgerpaw was long and Eagleheart had since joined the ranks of StarClan. She had no one. "I miss them, Rippedsky. I miss my brother and father. I honestly have no one."

this topic has been dead for well over a month, so please don't post on this.